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Items by Ted Brockman

Brummed Out

Posted: April 28th, 2008, 4:48pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Cross-eyed afternoon anchor Sheila Brummer is no longer a Sux News employee. She was let go late last week.
Well, it's a start. However, until the boneheads running that station stop hiring the inept, nothing will change.
Look at Six's recent hires: over-inflated KM3 retread Jodi Baker, E.T. lookalike Justin Joseph, blissfully ignorant Brian Latham, mop-headed weathergirl Andrea Rich, congenitally idiotic Rachel Pierce (and the list goes on and on).
Compare that list of misfits with KETV's hires over the same period—Owen Lei, Kristi Andersen, Nicole Berlie, Marla Rabe, and Adrian Whitsett—and it's not hard to see why the ratings look as they do.

Sux 2 B 6

Posted: April 28th, 2008, 4:09pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Read this. Hilarious.
Let this be a lesson to you kids out there: serial bad hires eventually catch up with you.

Nugget

Posted: April 14th, 2008, 4:15pm CDT by Ted Brockman

OK, faithful readers, now it's your turn to make yourselves useful.
Last December, a Channel Sux control roomer with our sense of humor cut quickly from a taped story to a live shot of idiot loud-talking anchor Jimmy Thiedlecki picking his nose (trolling for breakfast, perhaps?). As soon as Jimmy saw he was caught, he quickly pulled out. It was priceless.
We DVR'd the whole ugly incident, but forgot to protect it from automatic erasure, and it disappeared before we could harvest a screencap of Jimmy panning for gold. So, if you happen to have caught the magic and can send a file for posting, we'll see that it finds a good home. It's so indicative of what a rube Jimmy really is, it'd be a shame not to share it with the rest of the class.

Permalink for 'Omaha_TV_News/2008/04/11/Hip'

Hip

Posted: April 11th, 2008, 5:16am CDT by Ted Brockman

Dumbest new feature on TV?
Gotta be Channel Sux's "High School Cribs."
This gem—apparently WOWT's attempt at connecting with the young people—is plagued by an annoying instrumental bed that sounds like something put together using GarageBand software and features cheerleader Malorie Maddox strutting toward the camera shouting, "You know what's cool about ___ High School?!! Their ____!"
Filling in the first blank isn't hard, even for the Suxers. What's truly amazing is how they fill the second one.
Malorie seems startled that a school would have a newspaper, a lunch program, or a place to buy sweatshirts. Really? You'd think that only someone who hasn't visited a classroom since the Coolidge administration would marvel that "Binson" (Benson) High School has a class where kids build stuff.
Our favorite moment, so far anyway, came during her awkward visit to Iowa School for the Deaf, where a shop teacher, without the slightest hint of irony, said, "Some of the kids, they're hard of hearing."

Clueleth

Posted: April 9th, 2008, 12:46pm CDT by Ted Brockman

"And while you may not think of The Beatles when you think of rock and roll..."

—Channel Sux's Jimmy Thiedlecki, today, prattling about another inane "Top Six" list

Spillover

Posted: March 31st, 2008, 10:05am CDT by Ted Brockman

Jimmy's wetness disclosure came roughly ten minutes after Channel 7's Andrea "Welcome back AND good morning" Bredow pointed out that rain showers were maybe "a little bit more weaker" in the southwest corner of the screen. If she gets any more dumber, she's gonna be snapped up by Channel Sux to join the Ejacuweather team with Giggly Jim, High-talker, and Horseface.

Depends

Posted: March 31st, 2008, 2:50am CDT by Ted Brockman

"We're waking up wet this morning!" Channel Sux's overbearing goober/anchor Jimmy Thiedlecki exclaimed gleefully this morning at 6:30.
Maybe it's just us, but we had always assumed he woke up that way every morning.

Gotta Love This

Posted: February 16th, 2008, 7:34am CST by Ted Brockman

Read Sean Weide's column on how KETV is owning WOWT. Life is good.

Good Night and Good Luck

Posted: January 4th, 2007, 1:26pm CST by Ted Brockman

"It all began at a little 50,000 watt station in Cleveland..."

So began one of Ted Baxter's self-aggrandizing on-air pronouncements on the legendary "Mary Tyler Moore Show." Not coincidentally, it is how our final installment here begins, as well.

For several months now, we've wrestled with the question of how long to keep our little effort here going, and we finally decided that two years is enough.

Why?

Well, for one thing, we've said about all we have to say. Based on the response, we've said it for a number of people who are as disgusted by the quality of local programming as we are. For example, it seems pretty clear that lots and lots of people absolutely loathe Travis Justice. Likewise, lots of people seem to agree that Channel Sux is tired and getting worse by the day. And we've yet to receive one email defending Fubar Fazal or Suzanne Deyo (unless you count the ones Deyo is said to have submitted under the name "journalism 101").

Our second reason for hanging it up is that there is now a source to keep us updated on what's going on in Omaha broadcasting. It is Sean Weide's "Reader Media Notes" blog, and it wasn't around 24 months ago.

The third reason is pretty simple: we're tired of doing this. In most endeavors, it helps if you can see that your efforts are having some sort of impact, and as near as we can tell, the only impact our efforts have had is to make news directors say and do some pretty stupid things. (As if they needed help in that department!) In fact, one can argue that Omaha television has deteriorated considerably in the past couple of years.

So what have we learned? Well, as we just mentioned, we've learned that television news directors are about as idiotic as the crap they feed us on their broadcasts. According to sources at several local newsrooms, rather than focus on improving the quality of their product, at least a couple of news directors have, at one time or another, (1) forbidden employees from reading us on company time, (2) hired professionals in an attempt to ferret us out, (3) counseled weeping idiot reporters to avoid reading "the Blog," so as to preserve their self-esteem, and (4) blamed us for bad morale in their newsrooms.

What else have we learned? Let's see...we already mentioned the number of people who've indicated their hatred for Trav. Oh—here's one: people at KETV laugh at Suzanne Deyo behind her back. They think it's funny, for example, that she filed a police report against this blog. They also laughed when she told co-workers she wouldn't be friends with them anymore if she caught them reading us. So that was fun to know.

Finally, a few notes to local on-air types:

• Malorie Maddox: get some dialect coaching, so that you stop referring to "President Besh" and saying "inny" when you mean to say "any." You should also get help to stop talking through your nose and do something with that hair.

• Jeff Jensen: For the last time, get a voice coach. Your high voice is like nails on a chalkboard to hear. Bring it down an octave and keep it down. And stop adding extra rs to the word temperatures. Saying "temp-RUR-churs" is just stupid.

• Mike Cronemeyer: We know that you coined the term "blogalicious" to describe any flub or artifact of your station's stupidity likely to end up being written about here. Kinda funny. But we still think your work sucks.

• Jimmy Siedlecki: Dude, you were so in the right place when you and the missus were in Joplin, Missouri. They thought you were great. Here, however, you look like a total rube. You know—a hick, a hayseed, a bumpkin. No one here thinks you're smooth, clever, worldly, or sophisticated. Go back to where people appreciate an anchor with more than five teeth.

• John Chapman: Four letters, dude—D-I-E-T. And how about a little effort, for a change?

• Brian Mastre: See note to Chapman. And do something with that hair (toupée?).

• Sheila Brummer: We hate watching you almost as much as we hate looking at Trav and Fubar. Our main regret regarding you is that we never got around to doing a "separated at birth" post featuring you and Marilyn Manson. We never could quite figure out what to do with the rumors that you were bounced from your Des Moines gig based on your work under the anchor desk, but we think that alleged work couldn't have been any worse than your efforts above it.

• Rachel Pierce: You'll never take any of our advice, so we won't even bother. It's really quite remarkable that you found a station in a market this size that'd give you a job, much less one on-air. Congrats. Cling to this gig like grim death, 'cause it ain't gonna get better than this.

• Devon Patton: Sounds like somebody needs to keep his creepy ways to himself. Also, stop jumping around like a squirrel and yelling every time you do a story.

• Travis Justice: You're fat. Your voice sucks. Ten years from now, people will look at pictures of your facial hair the way we look at early '90s mullets today. Many people hate you, and we have the emails to prove it. Several have commented that Journal "cleaning house" a couple of weeks ago and leaving you on the air is, sadly, like the final episode of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," when everyone but buffoon anchor Ted gets the axe. You're a joke and a tool.

• Fubar Fazal: A reader from Montana, who'd seen your work there, tried to warn us. We thought he was exaggerating. Now, we realize, he was taking it easy on you. We have no idea what made you (or KETV) think it was a good idea for you to be on the air, but you were both ridiculously misguided. Your most recent "Fubar" moment came on December 28, when, according to an alert reader, you followed an interview of a North Omaha man with this sentence: "police have solved 14 of the 34 shootings last year, but they have yet to find his killer's friend." You're a frickin' moron, and a repellent one, at that. (How repellent: We'd rather watch Trav for an hour than you for a minute.) You suck. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and get out of the business.

One other thing we've learned: that there are, unlike those mentioned above, a number of educated, intelligent reporters, anchors, photojournalists and behind-the-scenes personnel who take pride in their work, work hard at their jobs, and are embarrassed by much of the sewage their respective employers put out as "news." We are grateful to them for their efforts and assistance and wish them well as they keep fighting the uphill battle against the mediocracy that is local news these days.

And on that note, we'll stop. It's been fun.

In the words of WKRP's Les Nessman, "Good night, and may the good news be yours!"

Omaha TV Newser of the Year

Posted: December 29th, 2006, 9:48am CST by Ted Brockman

When it came time to gather the editorial staff to choose our Newser of the Year for 2006, there was no clear consensus, as had been the case a year ago, when we bestowed the first annual award on WOWT's Tracy Madden.

A couple of voices suggested KMTV's GM, Steve Wexler, for giving Channel 3rd a makeover that pulled the station into the 21st Century and (finally) forced WOWT to adopt a new graphics and sounder package. In fact, Wexler might have landed the award, had it not been for his Scrooging of anchors Deb Ward and Greg Peterson on the Friday before Christmas.

Another popular choice was KETV's Kailyn Reed, who in 2006 was one of the few reporters-with-a-brain hired at any station. But we passed on her, too. (Same for Jaime McCutcheon, the only competent anchor hired here in years, it seems.)

We seriously considered anointing KETV Traffic Idiot Jana Murrell and her fill-in-cum-webcrawling-babbler, Veronica Todd as co-winners, but that idea fizzled when Todd left the station after management decided it wasn't comfortable having one of its on-air personalities appearing in TV ads it was running. And we thought giving it to Murrell alone might overwhelm her, especially if she tried to read two whole paragraphs explaining why she'd won.

Finally, there was Devon "Lockjaw" Patton, who was a triple threat: bad at anchoring, over-wrought when reporting, and, according to a complaint filed with law enforcement, a letch when off-camera.

But what we wanted—and eventually decided upon—was someone who best exemplified what Omaha TV stations were up to this year, someone who represented all the excrement that is Omaha TV at the moment. And we could think of no one who better fit the bill than (drumroll, please)...KETV's hideous anchor/reporter Farah "Fubar" Fazal!

Fazal emerged this year as the emblem of everything that is wrong with local TV. From her inability to get even the most basic details of a story right ("United Pacific," "North Bend, Iowa," etc.), to her awful voice and a face better-suited to radio, Fazal is symptomatic of a market in free-fall when it comes to talent. (Our favorite FUBAR utterance? Consider this one: "Deputies found him about seven blocks away. His mother thinks he was only gone about four.")

Remember, this was the year that brought us the likes of Mike "Unfrozen Caveman Anchor" Cronemeyer, Maniko "Crash Course in Standard English" Barthalemy, Laura Liggett, and the unforgivably stupid Rachel "Shlurpy Shpeech" Pierce. But Fubar stands out among this crop of dimwits as the poster-creature in the fight against bad broadcasting.

So congratulations, Fubar. If nothing else, you serve as an example to news directors everywhere of what not to hire.

Soul Brother Number One

Posted: December 28th, 2006, 10:50am CST by Ted Brockman

WOWT joke of the day: Mike "John Knicely, Jr." Cronemeyer "reporting live" to lecture viewers on the intricacies Kwanzaa in 40 seconds or less.

Yeah, Cronemeyer seems the perfect candidate to discuss the rich traditions of an African-American holiday. Another brilliant move by the Channel Sux assignment desk.

Retractable Stadium Info

Posted: December 27th, 2006, 8:57pm CST by Ted Brockman

Okay, so it turns out that WOWT's John Knicely was citing one of several available figures regarding the number of tickets being sold for next Monday's Cotton Bowl game.

Knicely put the number at 68,000 on a Tuesday newscast, which we took to be yet another sign of his ineptitude, considering that the official Cotton Bowl website lists the stadium capacity at 71,252.

According to several alert readers, the local paper reports that a number of temporary seats used during the Texas-Oklahoma game in October are removed for this game, reducing the total to the aforementioned 68,000. However a story in the same publication on Monday put the figure at 76,000.

Who the hell knows how many seats are really there? But, in this case, Knicely wasn't any more in the dark than the rest of us. So we apologize for leaping to the conclusion that this was a symptom of his congenital stupidity. This will likely always be remembered as "that one time Knicely was right."

Knicely Begins Cotton Bowl Renovation

Posted: December 27th, 2006, 10:11am CST by Ted Brockman

Following up a story by reporter Maniko Barthalemy on Tuesday, borderline retarded anchor John Knicely told viewers that the Cotton Bowl in Dallas holds 68,000.

Perhaps his information came from another of the station's pleas for viewer phone-ins, but the Cotton Bowl website suggests that folks in Dallas think the stadium holds over 71,000.

Then again, maybe big numbers, like big words, just aren't Knicely's strong suit.

Beyond Lazy

Posted: December 27th, 2006, 8:34am CST by Ted Brockman

Latest sign that they're not even trying any more at Channel 6: Closing Wednesday morning's 7:55 Today Show local cut-in, loud-talking know-it-all Jimmy Thiedlecki asked viewers "with stories or personal connections" to newly-dead President Gerald Ford to give the station a call.

Um, doesn't the station have reporters to dig this kind of thing up?

Oh, wait. This is Sux News, where reporters like warbler Brian New and corpse-ish Gary Smollen don't really develop contacts so much as they just go out and report one isolated, insignificant story after another.

But then when a substantive story demands attention, you don't have any...Yeah, having folks call in is probably their best bet.

Merry Christmas from Journal Broadcasting. Oh, By the Way: You're Fired

Posted: December 24th, 2006, 10:37am CST by Ted Brockman

It must be fun working for a company that would kick you out in the cold four days before Christmas.

That's what Journal Broadcasting did on Thursday, when it announced that it wouldn't be renewing the contracts of KMTV anchors Deb Ward and Greg Peterson.

While the station has been lagging in the ratings, much of that can be attributed to years of financial neglect by its previous owners. Emmis, which sold the station to Journal, even went so far as to remove the 6 p.m. newscast from the schedule.

But apparently, Journal either expected its switch to the "Action 3 News" format to miraculously turn things around, or it blamed Ward and Peterson for the station's low performance. Who knows?

It's unfortunate that these two were chosen to take the fall. While Ward has never been our favorite anchor, she has been a steady presence at the station for over two decades and deserved better.

Peterson's departure is even more lamentable. Both he and KETV's Rob McCartney put WOWT's straw-headed straw man John Knicely to shame. Peterson is a class act who will land on his feet, but if the suits at Channel 6 had a clue (and they clearly don't), they'd hire Peterson, wait out any non-compete clause, and put him in Knicely's place at the earliest possible moment.

The most idiotic aspect of this entire exercise at Channel 3rd, however, is the fact that GM Steve Wexler is still nursing his company's hard-on for bloated, nasal-voiced, viewer-repelling sports director Travis Justice.

Wexler is quoted in Sean Weide's Reader Media Notes as saying that there is no plan to change sports anchors.

If one were looking to fix problems at the station, Justice's would seem to be the first head to be placed on the chopping block. Why Journal is choosing to keep that tool on the air is just plain baffling.

Finally, and just as baffling, is why anyone in management would do this to people the Friday before Christmas. Would it have killed 'em to wait a week or two? Or would it have cost a few extra bucks? It was a tacky move by a station that doesn't need any help looking tacky.

Good luck, Greg and Deb. Merry Christmas.

Happy Holidays: KETV Dethrones WOWT

Posted: December 22nd, 2006, 11:09pm CST by Ted Brockman

Ratings from November sweeps are in, and if the ones we've been provided are accurate, it appears viewers may finally have tired of SuxNews.

In the morning, KETV scored a 28.6, compared to 26.7 for WOWT and just 3.4 for KMTV.

At 5 p.m., the next time period in which all three stations go head-to-head, it was KETV 28, WOWT 22, AND KMTV 6.

Same order of finish at 6 p.m., with KETV at 23, a 17.5 for WOWT and a scant 4.4 for KMTV.

At 10 p.m., Monday through Sunday, KETV led with 29.2 to WOWT's 25.9 and KMTV's 6.3.

Granted these are the only numbers we've seen so far, and we're sure all stations will try to put their own spin on things by looking at total viewers or particular demographic groups in the way that puts the best face on things for them.

But this appears to be a pretty sound thumping of a WOWT operation that has seen its quality slip in recent years. Here's hoping for more where that came from.

The Blog's Author Responds

Posted: December 21st, 2006, 6:19pm CST by Ted Brockman

One not-so-alert reader offered the following earlier today in the "Comments" section of our story on former KETV something-or-other Veronica Todd:

I will miss Veronica. I know the blog disliked her, but the blog's author seems to attack everything and everyone anymore, leaving me to wonder who does he/she actually like? Veronica is very sweet, funny, and talented. I am sorry to hear the blog's author decided to judge her without getting to know her.

Good gravy. Where to start?

First, we would agree that our posts lately have not been particularly warm or fuzzy. But we're kind of amused that anyone would come here expecting warm and fuzzy, or be surprised when they didn't find it.

See, we give the love when it's deserved. But we give it sparingly. We're not here to boost anyone's self-esteem or to give high-fives to people for doing their jobs properly. If someone does something extraordinarily well, then we try to make note of it.

But frankly, there hasn't been a lot to praise lately. Channel Sux is in the same basic rut it's been in for a decade now, as, apparently, are viewers who don't seem to care. Every time Channel 7 seems poised to make a run at the top, they manage to shoot themselves in the foot. Most recently, they've done this by chasing away talented, experienced reporters and replacing them with people who were probably turned away when applying for work at Wal-Mart (Lisa Stites and Kailyn Reed being exceptions). And Channel 3rd is Channel 3rd, keeping the revolting Travis Justice and wondering why their ratings are so low.

Finally, we couldn't care less how nice someone is. Nice doesn't do doodley-squat for those of us sitting at home watching these people. Competence is what counts, and lately, that seems like the last thing most of these outfits want. Veronica Todd came off as an idiot, both while filling in for equally stupid-sounding Jana Murrell and then giving us "tips" on worthless crap she found online.

You want nice? You want a "feel-good" blog about these people? Start your own. Then you and the denizens of local TV-land can have a perpetual circle-jerk, with you patting them on the head and them telling you how much they love reading about how great they are. Yeah. That's just what we need.

Bah-humbug.

Veronica Todd Outta There

Posted: December 19th, 2006, 8:33pm CST by Ted Brockman

File this in the "Improvements" folder: Superfluous KETV morning dizzy blond Veronica Todd is no longer working for the station. Her last day was Friday.

According to a source at Channel 7, Todd told management she had too many commitments (appearing in TV ads, etc.) to keep up with the schedule.

Yeah, finding time to locate one item on the internet every half hour and talk about it for thirty seconds had to be exhausting, not to mention intellectually challenging.

Brace Yourselves: Something Improved at Channel 6

Posted: December 18th, 2006, 4:36pm CST by Ted Brockman

No, they didn't fire John Knicely. Or Rachel Pierce. Or Jimmy Siedlecki. Or Gary Smollen. Or Brian New. Or Sheila Brummer.

But anyone comparing Maniko Barthalemy's recent taped reports to those she delivered when she first arrived can't help but notice the improvement in her diction. Gone is the streety, whiny "Queen Shaniqua" sound, and in its place is a much more palatable delivery.

While her taped reports have improved, Barthalemy seems to backslide into old habits when delivering a live shot. Here's hoping that, too, will improve. But give the woman credit: she's working on improving, which is an example that most of the Big Six's on-air types could stand to follow.

Another Opening, Another Show

Posted: December 14th, 2006, 9:15pm CST by Ted Brockman

KETV is now advertising for a general assignment reporter. If we'll all just wait a few minutes, Sean Weide will tell us if this is a newly-created position or a replacement for someone who's leaving.

Yes, we're hoping it's a sign that Fubar Fazal is leaving. But what are the chances she'd willingly give up a gig in which she's allowed unlimited on-air incompetence? Not even she is that dumb.

Dumber Than Paste and a Bag of Doorknobs

Posted: December 14th, 2006, 8:22am CST by Ted Brockman

We thought we heard her wrong on Wednesday. But today she repeated it.

Yes, for the second straight day, KETV former beauty queen/morning traffic airhead Jana Murrell warned viewers during her 6:10 report that "two east-bound lanes of 42nd Street" were closed.

That would be useful information, were it not for the fact that 42nd Street runs north-south.

Weide Has the Answer

Posted: December 13th, 2006, 2:58pm CST by Ted Brockman

As usual, Sean Weide has dug up the story behind one of our questions—in this case, WOWT's ad for a new sportscaster. Merlyn Klaus is leaving. Read about it in The Reader's Media Notes blog.

WOWT Ad Raises Questions

Posted: December 12th, 2006, 10:27pm CST by Ted Brockman

WOWT is advertising for a "sports reporter/photo/producer," leading us to wonder if the station is adding staff or if someone at the Big Six's "Sports Machine" (whatever the hell that means) is leaving.

Longtime sports anchor Dave Webber would seem the most likely candidate for an exit, given his age (isn't he about Bob Barker's age?) and his seemingly drunken live report from Kansas City on the eve of the Big 12 football championship game.

Read the ad for yourself, posted at nab.org and see what you think.

Help Wanted: Idiot

Posted: December 8th, 2006, 9:47am CST by Ted Brockman

Are Jana Murrell and Veronica Todd having a stupidity contest?

That's the only conclusion we can draw after watching several days of KETV's "FirstNews" morning program.

What was the meeting like when it was decided to put these two dim bulbs on the same program? Is 77 KETV management's favorite I.Q., in the same way that 77 is supposedly meteorologist Bill Randby's favorite temperature?

It's been pretty well established that former beauty pageant winner Murrell hasn't a clue what she's doing. But we challenge anyone to either post or create a job description to convey what it is that Todd does at the top and bottom of the hour. It makes Channel 6's "Live at Four" features look like PBS's "Newshour."

You just can't make shit like this up.

Were These People Drunk?

Posted: December 3rd, 2006, 8:53am CST by Ted Brockman

Choose your favorite WOWT blunder from Saturday's broadcasts. Vote by posting in Comments section.

(A) Reporter Maniko Barthalemy calls horticulture expert John Fech "Jim."
(B) Title super'd over Barthalemy's 10 p.m. story reads "Mission Need Donations."
(C) Graphic quoting from Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning's press release says a defendant "prayed on the patriotism and emotions of Nebraska veterans." (The press release on the AG's site correctly spells the word preyed.)
(D) At the opening of the 10 p.m. newscast, milktoast anchor Paul Baltes can't decide which camera he's supposed to be looking at.

Let that be a lesson to you aspiring broadcasters: attention to detail is not a prerequisite for a career on TV.

Scott Fired in KC and Speculation Abounds

Posted: December 3rd, 2006, 8:49am CST by Ted Brockman

Former KETV and KMTV anchor Michael Scott, who had spent the past four years anchoring at KCTV in Kansas City, was abruptly dismissed this week. TV critic Aaron Barnhart delves into the rumors surrounding Scott's departure in this posting.

You Don't Have to Bet Drunk to Work at Channel 6, But It Doesn't Hurt

Posted: December 2nd, 2006, 5:06pm CST by Ted Brockman

More than a few people—some of them on air at Channel 6—were wondering if sports anchor Dave Webber was drunk during his 10 p.m. live report from Kansas City on Friday.

Standing in KC's Country Club Plaza on the eve of the Big 12 footbal championship game, Webber at times sang, giggled, shouted at those back in the studio, rambled incoherently, and generally gave the impression of having had about five too many before going on the air.

Anchor Tracey Madden described Webber as "loopy." Fill-in sports anchor Merlin Klaus seemed to have the same opinion, particularly when Webber confided on-air that he and several others were headed to the Cheesecake Factory and shouted in mock (we think) anger that Klaus couldn't go along. Klaus replied that there was a Cheesecake Factory here in Omaha and that a Webber invitation wouldn't be required.

Frankly, we're surprised that there aren't more drunk people on air at Channel 6. Considering some of the dolts they've hired recently and the lame product the station turns out, anyone with any competence and self-respect could hardly feel otherwise.

Bring Me the One They Call "Kreskin"

Posted: November 29th, 2006, 9:53pm CST by Ted Brockman

We left work Wednesday around 4:30 in the afternoon, fully prepared to battle the two inches of slushy snow that WOWT Ejacuweather meteorologist Jim Flowers spent so much of Tuesday's broadcasts warning about. So the dry pavement surprised us, as did the sunshine.

What was especially great was the way empty-headed anchor John Kniceley had given Jumpy Jim a premature pat on the back the night before, saying something like, "You told us in your winter forecast a couple of weeks ago that this would happen!"

Indeed he did. And it didn't.

While Flowers' fits of hysteria are generally limited to evenings, viewers looking for weather-related adrenaline rushes first thing in the morning should turn to KETV's "FirstNews."

On Monday, the whole gang was buzzing with talk of slick streets, potential danger, and the like, led by annoying anchor Elicita Hammond and mumbling meteorologist Andrea Bredow, who seems to be in about the fourth year of a really bad head-cold.

What was particularly surreal about Monday's babbling was that the FirstNewsers kept having to interrupt their euphoria to report that things weren't really that bad and that motorists were unlikely to encounter problems. The main reason for this, of course, was that virtually every street in town was DRY. Dry, as in not containing even a thin film of moisture. Dry, as in the same as they'd be on just about any other morning.

Honestly, would any of us be worse off if we got our weather predictions from psychics, tea leaves, or our horoscopes?

What Does This Say About Their Readers?

Posted: November 16th, 2006, 1:15pm CST by Ted Brockman

If you thought you were depressed about local news quality, you'll be even more so when you see who The Reader's readers chose for the paper's "Best of the Big O" awards:

Best Weatherperson: Jim Flowers (WOWT)
Best Television Reporter: Mike McKnight (WOWT)
Best Sportscaster: Dave Webber (WOWT)
Best News Anchor Team: WOWT
Best Anchorperson: John Knicely (WOWT)

On the bright side, however, at least Travis Justice and Fubar Fazal aren't on the list. Yet.

Newspaper Writers Auditioning for TV Gig?

Posted: November 15th, 2006, 12:49pm CST by Ted Brockman

Consider the following facts. Then answer the question that follows.

A body is found in an oil drum located in a muddy area that was formerly underwater. The body is determined to be that of a woman who disappeared 23 years ago.

What conclusion might you draw from this information?
(A) Oil drums are not suitable for use as watercraft.
(B) The woman died of a heart attack.
(C) You just can't hide stuff underwater these days.
(D) The death is considered a homicide.

If you guessed D, then you don't need to read the online story from Omaha's daily newspaper, which features that exact sentence.

Thank you, John Gottschalk and Co., for connecting those dots. Now it's entirely clear why print news is superior to its broadcast step-sister.

Ejacucast Shoots It in Wrong Direction Again

Posted: November 15th, 2006, 9:54am CST by Ted Brockman

On Tuesday's 10 p.m. newcast, WOWT Ejacuweather Guesser-in-Chief Jim Flowers made it sound as if an overnight snow and/or rain "event" was inevitable, and that we'd all be driving through significant rain or a thin film of slushy snow on our way to work this morning. Based on Jim's "Precision Forecast," a bettor might have wagered the ranch on it.

Now think about your drive to work this morning. Look outside right now. Check the radar.

Amazingly, between 10:30 p.m. and 6:00 a.m., the Ejacuweather team seemed to have forgotten everything their fearless leader had predicted.

In fairness, Jumpy Jim probably wasn't alone in his incorrectness. We didn't see what Bill Randby and Ryan McPike were saying on Tuesday.

But neither Randby nor McPike had the nerve to spend a full five minutes last week regaling us with their predictions about what the weather will be like in February. That is, they weren't that reckless with their credibility.

Weather coverage lends itself to gimmickry, and Channel 6 isn't the only one to exploit it. But that station is, by far, the "Heartland's Leader" in self-aggrandizing, over-the-top, mostly-empty hype when it comes to weather.

The only question is how long it will take viewers to catch on and put SuxNews in the ratings toilet where it belongs.

Torturing Oakey

Posted: November 15th, 2006, 12:00am CST by Ted Brockman

KETV's long-running effort to surround John Oakey with as many dolts as possible took another step forward last week, when someone at the station decided that it would be a good idea to keep fill-in traffic babbler Veronica Todd around now that regular airhead Jana "Index Card" Murrell is back.

Todd's new role is to show up every half-hour or so, often dressed inappropriately, and share some useless piece of drivel related to what our president refers to as "the Internets." Her feature usually lasts about 20 seconds and has even less news value than what Murrell and Andrea "Mumbles" Bredow have to say—as hard as that is to believe.

One might infer from personnel moves like this one that someone on the inside is trying to sabotage the morning show, in particular—or the station, in general—by putting as many idiots on-air as the payroll will accommodate. The remarkable thing is that all these mental defectives actually make Oakey's albatross/co-anchor, Elictia Hammond, look almost acceptable.

Weekend Notes

Posted: November 13th, 2006, 7:47pm CST by Ted Brockman

• Was WOWT using video equipment borrowed from a Texas Goodwill Store? Highlights of Saturday's Nebraska-Texas A&M looked alternately blurry or washed-out. At first we thought it was the TV, but quick checks of three other sets revealed the same thing. The fact that all the station's shots were taken from about a mile high didn't help any.

• The lobotomization of Malorie Maddox appears to be making steady progress. Teasing some pointless feature or another, Maddox referred to changes that have taken place "since post-9/11." Are Sheila Brummer and Fubar Fazal tutoring her on the side?

• Speaking of Brummer, why do her voiceovers on "coming up at five" promos all sound like she's auditioning for a gig on one of those 1-900 sex chat commercials?

• And, on the topic of Fubar, we passed by a TV following Saturday's Husker game and noticed that KETV management has stubbornly and foolishly decided to let her keep anchoring Saturday evening's newscasts while Suzanne Deyo is on maternity leave. This, despite mountains of evidence that Fubar is embarrasingly ill-suited for the job. Fortunately for us, we were unable to catch the newscasts, leaving us unable to describe the exact nature of her screw-ups for this week.

• Back at Channel 6, the weekend newscasts have gotten downright pathetic. Paul Baltes is about as dull an anchor as you'll find—one who always looks like his contacts are giving him fits. Weatherguesser Jeff Jensen is perhaps the most irritating of the station's four Precision Ejacucasters. With a voice that may be the highest on the station, Jensen is capable of saying more words to convey less information than just about anyone we've ever watched.

And then there's John Chapman, whose woeful delivery was accentuated Saturday evening when he was describing high school football highlights and referring repeatedly to "Millert" North and "Millert" South. We won't even get into the pronunciation of names issues. Why is this guy doing sports? Instead of pulling him off the city hall beat to be a lethargic part-timer in sports and having morning anchor Jimmy Thiedlecki doing his worthless "Thiedlecki on the Thideline" features, why not hire a real sports guy to do weekends?

• But it's not as if Channel 3 is without its problems. Devon Patton is still there, sensationalizing, gesturing wildly, and generally making an ass out of himself more than all the other "Action 3" on-air personnel combined. Who knows what he's doing off the air.

Ted's Winter Forecast

Posted: November 8th, 2006, 10:25am CST by Ted Brockman

This winter, expect some cold days and some snow.

It will snow before Thanksgiving, unless it doesn't, in which case, our first snowfall will definitely come after Thanksgiving. It will be cold in January and February, which isn't to say that there might not be a few warmish days sprinkled in here and there.

Around March, it'll start to get warmer and the grass will begin to green up.

Oh, and at least once between now and March, WOWT's Jim Flowers will warn us about a gargantuan snowstorm. One that we'll tell our grandkids about. One that will dump at least three hundred inches of snow on us. One that will cancel school until the year 2013 and make disabled people walk again. One that will cause Jim to jump in an SUV and drive around telling us via cellphone what he sees.

But then it'll only bring us about a half-inch of snow, if that, and Jim will explain that it just barely missed us.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Mr. Brockman is not a trained meteorologist. His forecasts are for entertainment purposes only and should not be used as investment advice, to plan weddings, or to schedule the planting of crops and/or the care of livestock.]

Wednesday Morning Quarterbacking

Posted: November 8th, 2006, 9:51am CST by Ted Brockman

• For all the hype WOWT put into the CONTINUOUS TICKER it promised for election night, they might have considered making the words visible to the naked eye.

• KETV buried inept reporter/anchor Fubar Fazal about as deeply as it could without taking her off the air entirely during Tuesday night's coverage. Fubar was sent out to cover those opposed to Initiative 423. Technical difficulties prevented her from littering the station's signal until almost 25 minutes into the 10 p.m. broadcast.

• The normally level-headed Joe Jordan of KMTV got a little carried away when early returns showed Democrats leading in Nebraska's 2nd and 3rd congressional districts, prattling about upsets in the making and so forth. For all his experience, shouldn't he have known that early returns were from early voters and that six percent of the vote is hardly indicative of all the ballots cast?

• KMTV's coverage was generally strong, but why, during its 6 p.m. newscast did they call it "Breaking News" when they noted that several cases of norovirus had been identified at Methodist Hospital?

• Candidate Jim Esch has to be wondering what might've happened had he spent more than $400,000 on his campaign or had the Nebraska Democratic Party put some effort behind him. Esch came within 20,000 votes of unseating incumbent Lee Terry, Jr., even though he had virtually no TV advertising against Terry's non-stop barrage of spots during the final two weeks of the campaign. Perhaps it's a sign of just how eager some people were to vote against uber-dork Terry.

• How delusional was Senate candidate Pete Ricketts? At 10:35, he was 50,000 votes behind incumbent Ben Nelson but telling KETV's Brandi Petersen that he expected things to turn around. He apparently wised up around midnight.

• Why does it take so long for Nebraska officials to count ballots? Iowa's polls closed at 9:00, and by 10:00, officials there had tallied in the neighborhood of 250,000 votes. Meanwhile, west of the Missouri, where polls closed at 8:00, Nebraska's Secretary of State could only report on about 100,000 ballots by 10 p.m.

• Worse yet, Douglas County Election Commissioner David Phipps must've been counting them by himself. By 10:55—almost three hours after the polls had closed—Phipps had only managed to count 27,358 early-voting ballots. Things weren't much better by midnight, by which time he had counted fewer than 20 percent of the votes cast.

Eight Things We Won't Miss When the Election Is Over

Posted: November 6th, 2006, 10:59pm CST by Ted Brockman

• Radio ads featuring Governor Dave Heinemann gushing over Senate candidate/billionaire Pete Ricketts and sounding like a real bumpkin when referring to politicians in "Worshington."

• Ricketts' mother, expecting us to believe that she and her gazillionaire husband are just ordinary folks who brought their kids up in Nebraska City. Put on a hat, Pete, and pull that sucker down over your face, while you're at it.

• Senator Ben Nelson spouting platitudes like, "A penny saved is a penny earned." Way to take a stand, Ben.

• Douglas County Assessor Roger Morrissey's very elderly mother propped up and groaning "Good for you," in the general direction of her son. Shameless.

• Congressional candidate Maxine Moul's mannish mug filling our TV screen. Yikes.

• Moul's grating, whiny voice. On second thought, Pete, just stuff that hat in Maxine's mouth.

• First District Rep. Jeff Fortenberry, who always appears to be wearing a Ben Nelson wig and scared to death that he really will be linked with fellow Republican Mark Foley.

• Congressdweeb Lee Terry, Jr. slobbering his way through his list of imagined accomplishments. Yeah, you'll probably be re-elected, Lee, as sad as that is. Just promise to leave us alone for two years. (Whatever happened to this dimwit's pledge to observe self-imposed term limits?)

Mark Twain was right. People generally do get the government they deserve. He should've warned us about the ads.

Another Reason to Get Rid of Travis Justice

Posted: November 6th, 2006, 10:49pm CST by Ted Brockman

While we're on the subject of people who seemingly can't get themselves fired, there's new evidence that KMTV's bloated, nasal-voiced sports director is incompetent (as if anyone needed more).

Sean Weide's blog details how Channel 3 missed the boat on a quintuple-overtime state football playoff game between Lincoln Southwest and Millard North last Friday, while its two competitors aired the finish of the game live.

Nice work, Trav.

KETV's Buckeyewitless News

Posted: November 6th, 2006, 10:15pm CST by Ted Brockman

Time for Channel 7 news director Rose Ann Shannon to have yet another long closed-door talk with her worst on-air employee. Shannon and fellow KETV management-types may tell everyone that perpetual screw-up reporter/desperation-fill-in-anchor Fubar Fazal is improving, but you have to think they're more than a little miffed that Fubar keeps pooping all over their misplaced confidence in

Palpable Excitement at Channel 6

Posted: November 5th, 2006, 10:30am CST by Ted Brockman

Now in the throes of November sweeps, Channel 6 is hyping the hell out of what it apparently considers its big assets. On Tuesday, the Suxers keep promising, their election coverage will include a CONTINUOUS TICKER at the bottom of the screen! And on Wednesday, everything in Omaha will come to a halt so as to hear JIM'S WINTER FORECAST! How can any other station hope to compete with all that?

"...and he promotes like hell"

Posted: October 30th, 2006, 2:28am CST by Ted Brockman

You'd think the story was about someone who'd actually contributed something valuable to his business.

We're referring to Broadcasting and Cable's profile of Harry Pappas, whose company owns KPTM, KXVO, and 28 other "stations."

Our favorite line: "Pappas concluded independents needed 'The 4Ps': Quality programming, top-notch people, savvy promotion and strong transmitter power."

KPTM has been on the air for close to 20 years. When can we expect "The 4Ps" to make it to Omaha?

WOWT's N.D. Has a College Degree and What Good Has That Done?

Posted: October 25th, 2006, 11:08am CDT by Ted Brockman

No one will ever accuse KPTM of setting its sights too high. The continuing presence of Calvert "Larry Bud" Collins proves that.

Having run off its latest news director in less than two years, Fox42 is running the ad below in the hope of finding a replacement. It's good to know that a GED is accepted in at least one line of work.

Ten Years...and They Still Can't Beat the Crap on WOWT

Posted: October 23rd, 2006, 6:37pm CDT by Ted Brockman

KETV is performing all sorts of contortions while patting itself on the back via promos "celebrating" the 10 years that its main anchor team has been together.

Station management isn't likely to mention that the quartet's tenure began only after the station drove longtime anchor Carol Schrader off the air. At the time, insiders reported that station management subjected Schrader to repeated slights until the mercurial anchor finally had had enough and stormed out just before the unveiling of the station's "Newsplex."

Schrader's exit reportedly marked the culmination of months of effort by KETV management to do everything it could to push the much younger Julie Cornell into Schrader's chair and make it clear that Schrader was no longer wanted or needed.

An alert reader, reflecting on this new promo, notes that it might also be interesting for KETV to mention the number of capable reporters who have come and gone in the past decade, as management clung to the Cornell-Randby-McCartney-Schuetz team. (That revolving door has left us with the likes of Fubar Fazal and Elictia Hammond—a travesty that won't be easily forgotten.)

What's interesting to note, the reader adds, is the threat that Cornell must be feeling from hard-charging management favorite Brandi Petersen, a fill-in anchor who is much younger and perkier than the tired-looking Cornell.

Where have we heard this story before?

Shouldn't He Be at a Star Trek Convention Somewhere?

Posted: October 23rd, 2006, 6:30pm CDT by Ted Brockman

What's the deal with the TV ads for doofus Congressman Lee Terry, Jr.? (Besides the fact that he looks and sounds like a grown-up version of Milhouse from The Simpsons.)

For the second or third of his campaigns in a row, Terry mangles the legally-required "I approved this message" tag on his TV commercials. Instead, our boy Lee says "I approve of this message."

Does he have his nose so far up the President's ass that he's starting to say similarly stupid things? Is he just stupid on his own? Or does he think he's clever by saying it slightly differently than everyone else?

We're pretty sure he considers himself clever, since he was dumb enough to think he could go on Comedy Central's Colbert Report without embarrassing himself and his constitutents. He couldn't, even if you gave him a hundred chances.

Why the hell do we keep electing this guy?

Not That It Has Anything to Do with TV

Posted: October 17th, 2006, 9:54pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Feeling its oats after passing a resolution requesting an apology from radio station KFAB regarding talk host Tom Becka's North Omaha parody, Omaha's city council is considering a resolution requesting that KFAB's sister station, KGOR, play more Dan Fogelberg songs.

"We really love 'Leader of the Band,' said one council member, speaking on condition of anonymity. "It'd be really neat if KGOR could play that or 'Longer' more often."

According to one source, however, at least two council members intend to propose an amendment that would also call on rival station Z-92 to play more Metallica and for KETV to air "Baywatch" reruns on weekends.

The issue has reportedly caused a deep rift at city hall, with councilman Chuck Sigerson threatening to "kick some ass if anyone so much as suggests that Lynard Skynard isn't the greatest band of all time."

As of this writing, there was no word as to when the music request resolution might come before the council for a vote.

Monotonous Mediocrity

Posted: October 16th, 2006, 3:01pm CDT by Ted Brockman

One recent post asked if we were on vacation again.

We wish.

The explanation for the lack of posts on our part is this: nothing's happening. At least nothing that we haven't pointed out a dozen times.

For example, this morning, KETV substitute traffic twit Veronica Todd alerted viewers to anticipated congestion "between 90th and West Dodge." (For those of you reading this who aren't familiar with our neck of the woods: these two streets intersect.)

Or how about Sunday, when WOWT invisible anchor Paul Baltes read Saturday evening's copy about the shooting in Bonaparte, Iowa, that he said occurred "this morning." (Do these people just grab anything that happens to be laying around and read it on air to fill time?)

There's also speech-impeded weekend morning anchor Rachel Pierce, who is able to add a thshyllable to any word, as evidenced by her recent reference to actress "Scarlett Jo-HAN-uh-sun."

And WOWT weekend evening anchor Jaime McCutcheon, who regularly echoes the president's pronunciation of the word nuclear.

At KMTV, weekend anchor Devon Patton still speaks as if he's not quite over a bad case of lockjaw, and at KETV, with beady-eyed weekend anchor Suzanne "The Helmet" Deyo off on maternity leave, someone who apparently hates viewers has decided that FUBAR Fazal is a suitable Saturday night anchor. (We would agree, if by "anchor," they meant something to be dropped over the side of a boat.)

But we've written all this before. Only the particulars are slightly different.

Until something interesting happens, we'll keep our comments to a minimum, thank you.

Made You Look

Posted: September 29th, 2006, 11:49am CDT by Ted Brockman

Nothing makes you look as dumb as when you trust an untrustworthy "alert reader."

KETV's John Oakey is not, as reported here Thursday evening, leaving the station.

We apologize for our stupidity.

Good News, Bad News

Posted: September 28th, 2006, 9:42pm CDT by Ted Brockman

The good news is that perpetually befuddled KETV reporter Laura Liggett has figured out that she may not be cut out for TV. She's taking a job with a local nonprofit agency, according to Sean Weide's Media Notes blog.

Such a Little Pisher

Posted: September 19th, 2006, 12:42pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Are we the only one who think new KETV weatherguesser Roger Schwartz always looks like he's dressed up for his barmitzvah? How old is this guy?

A Mighty Wind: Blowin' You and Me

Posted: September 18th, 2006, 9:45pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Saturday evening's severe weather outbreak, which featured a tornado touching down at 180th and Harrison, gave Omaha's three serious TV stations the opportunity to put all their personnel and gadgetry to work, and what a show it was.

KETV found itself in the unenviable position of having to alert viewers to the storm dangers while simultaneously broadcasting the Nebraska-USC football game. Except for one brief spell, Channel 7 split its screen, giving roughly half to the game and the other half (and the audio) to meteorologist John Campbell, who was later joined by Chief Weatherguesser Bill Randby. While many insane Husker fans probably resented the intrusion into the game, KETV would have been negligent to ignore a tornado warning; on the whole, they did the best they could.

Over at Channel 3, chief meteorologist Ryan McPike was in the studio with trusty sidekick Charles "C.T." Thongklin. Unfettered by rabid Husker devotees, McPike and Company were able to use the whole screen and their extensive collection of tech tools to keep viewers apprised of the latest developments.

WOWT, too, had the full screen at its disposal with Jeff Jensen and Michael Born providing coverage from the studio, while chief Jim Flowers raced around in his car and reported via cell phone. Flowers offered little that couldn't be picked up on radar or spotted on the "city cam" mounted atop the First National Bank building downtown.

So while the chief meteorologists on two stations covered developments from the studio, where they could access the tools they claim are so vital to their work, Hysterical Jim was out tearing around in an SUV, relegated to describing "a pouch" dipping out of the clouds—one that was clearly visible on the aforementioned "city cam."

So, to recap: what does Precision-Doppler-6000-Weather-Where-You-Live-to-the-Power-of-6 offer that you can't get elsewhere? Hysteria and hype.

A Slow Week

Posted: September 15th, 2006, 5:32pm CDT by Ted Brockman

An assortment of observation at the end of an otherwise uneventful week...

• What the hell is Tracy Madden trying to do with her hair? During Friday's "Live at Five," it looked like a mullet as envisioned by KMTV's former stylist. Memo to Tracy: Ignore whoever is currently giving you hair advice.

• KETV's weekday morning "First News" traffic reports were noticeably better this week in the absence of in-studio dolts Jana Murrell and Veronica Todd. Someone named Brooke Williams delivered reports over the phone and was about 20 times more articulate and informative than either Murrell or Todd can ever hope to be.

• And speaking of KETV, Thursday's 10 p.m. newscast featured a rare glimpse of anchor Rob McCartney delivering an embarrasingly overdone package on the wind ripping an enormous American flag from the side of the Woodmen Tower. McCartney's voiceover was overstuffed with overstuffed phrases like "star-spangled banner yet waving," included idiotic soundbites from some yokel who, McCartney said, "rushed into action" to pick up the flag when it hit the ground at 18th and Douglas, and generally looked like something one might submit to Action 3 News to audition for Devon Patton's job. We hope this isn't a sign of things to come.

• On the network front, this question: Are we the only ones who think the Today show's new set makes it look as if Matt Lauer and the gang are doing the show from an Apple Store?

Shaniqua and the Pronouns

Posted: September 9th, 2006, 3:42pm CDT by Ted Brockman

When WOWT's bumbling management, in their zeal to double the number of non-caucasian reporters at the Big Six, hired under-qualified reporter Maniko Barthalemy, they must have known this kind of sentence was coming. Teasing one of her several inconsequential live reports on Saturday morning, Shaniqua said, "If a student can't see in class, it can make it harder for he or she to focus."

Maybe hiring she wasn't such a good idea.

While We Were Sleeping

Posted: September 8th, 2006, 3:47pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Thanks to our many alert readers for pointing out what we had somehow missed: that empty-headed KETV traffic tracker Jana Murrell is off to Washington for a physical therapy internship. (Believe it or not, Murrell is working on a doctoral degree in P.T. It must be easier to get one of those than we had thought.)

Meanwhile, back at the Newsplex, moronic Murrell's moronic fill-in, Veronica Todd rambles on. Despite claims by several alert readers that Todd is a vast improvement over Murrell, we must respectfully disagree.

When she's not looking disoriented by the green-screen, Todd spends an inordinate amount of time telling us about how she prepares the reports, instead of about what's happening on the roads.

"I couldn't find a little icon for fire," she confided to viewers Friday morning, before mentioning that firetrucks were blocking some obscure street or another.

She also seems to be astounded by traffic on the North Freeway every morning around 6:30. It has apparently escaped her notice that there's a major construction project going on in the area just west of Creighton University Hospital.

No, Todd is no improvement over Murrell. She merely offers a slightly different strain of stupidity.

Speechless

Posted: September 8th, 2006, 3:40pm CDT by Ted Brockman

This picture even made our eyes cross.

WOWT's talent-free anchor Sheila Brummer got hitched last Saturday. Read the engagement announcement here. (Sheila's the one on the right.)

And don't stare at the photo too long. It'll burn your retinas.

This 'n' That

Posted: September 7th, 2006, 10:05pm CDT by Ted Brockman

• KETV is making its weekend morning newscasts Husker-centric. Starting this week, promos tell viewers, Channel 7's "Big Red Zone" is taking over weekend mornings. Let's all hope that no one decides it'd be a good idea to dispatch Fubar Fazal to cover the Cowhuskers, or whatever the hell she'd probably call them.

• It sure is nice tuning in to WOWT's "Live at Daybreak" this week and not being yelled at by Jim Thiedlecki. Apparently Big Jim is on vacation. Malorie Maddox, as we've noted before, comes across as exponentially more poised and intelligent when she's not splitting time with and being interrupted by her overbearing, buffoonish co-anchor.

• Speaking of absences, where the hell is regular KETV traffic bimbo Jana Murrell? This is, by our count, the fourth week that her equally inept substitute, Veronica Todd has been bouncing idiotically through her duties on the weekday morning "First News." Wednesday's performance was particularly comical. At one point, Todd was tranfixed by the off-screen monitor, causing her to appear to be looking off to her left at nothing in particular. This followed her fumbling with her remote clicker while saying of an accident at 15th and Locust, "I can't show it to you, but I can tell you about it!" Umm, yeah...

By the way: we're not complaining about Murrell's absence. Just curious.

Sufferin' Succotash

Posted: August 30th, 2006, 10:07am CDT by Ted Brockman

• A producer at Channel 6 must have a sense of humor. What else could explain having lisping anchor Jim Siedlecki announce another inane "Top 6 List" that forced him to say "Top Six Cities for Shortest Commutes"? Even if there was no ulterior motive behind it, hearing Jimmy spray his way through the title provided a brief bit of entertainment in what has again become a monotonous broadcast. •

Such an Easy Target

Posted: August 28th, 2006, 6:19pm CDT by Ted Brockman

How can anyone not love the Onion? It's even more lovable when it mocks local news claims of "non-stop news" and other such hype-laden bullshit. Or is it bullshit-laden hype?

10 O’Clock News Team Relying Heavily On Work Of 6 O’Clock News Team

"Big Turds of Poop": A Fubar Fazal Story

Posted: August 25th, 2006, 9:57pm CDT by Ted Brockman

This item comes to us from an alert reader, who pointed us to a story we'd missed.

And who couldn't love a story that includes the phrase "big turds of poop," even if it were just in writing? The bonus is that there's video (at least until KETV decides to pull it).

We're not sure that the closeup shot of sewage was entirely necessary, but it's fitting that Channel 7 dispatched its shittiest reporter to cover a backed-up sewer. (At one point Fazal points to where a light pole was "until about this afternoon." About this afternoon, Fubar?)

You can find it all here.

6 News: Covering the Really Important Stuff

Posted: August 25th, 2006, 7:03pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Friday's 6 p.m. newscasts at WOWT and KETV displayed an interesting contrast between the two stations.

KETV devoted the first six or seven minutes to the story regarding the state's attempt to fire Nebraska State Patrol officer Robert Henderson for his ties to the KKK.

WOWT, on the other hand, devoted only two or three minutes to that story so it could get to John Chapman's hard-hitting report about a gaggle of high school girls attending a football game at Millard South High School, parking at an adjacent apartment complex despite many no parking signs there, and —gasp— having their car towed.

"The girls were crying, so I'm crying too with them and I say 'what happed?' [sic] you know," a mom named Starla screeched during the piece.

Thank God WOWT news director John Clark has his priorities straight.

Patton Mentioned in Report on KKK Trooper

Posted: August 25th, 2006, 5:22pm CDT by Ted Brockman

KMTV weekend anchor Devon Patton is mentioned in the arbitration decision released Friday by the Nebraska Attorney General's Office. The decision addresses the firing of a member Nebraska State Patrol who is alleged to be connected to the Ku Klux Klan. In fact, it appears that Trooper Robert Henderson's interactions with Patton indirectly led to the Patrol's discovery of Henderson's KKK ties.

Relevant excerpts from the decision:

In August of 2005, Sergeant Todd Kinghorn ("Kinghorn") was promoted to Lieutenant and trasferred from the sex-offendr registry to Internal Affairs. On August 26, 2005, Lt. Kinghorn received a Complaint Control Form (801 Form," "NSP 801," "801") from Captain Tom Schwarten alleging that the Grievant was abusing his authority and haraasing a black k man who was employed as a new [sic] anchor for a television station in Omaha, Nebraska. The Grievant had pulled-over the news anchor because the news anchor had been residing in Nebraska for more than thirty (30) days and had not yet obtained Nebraska license plates, as required by law. The Grievant issued the news anchor a warning. This same news anchor and the Grievant's fiancée worked for the same news organizaiton and there appears to have been some friction between the two coworkers. After being stopped by the Grievant, and being warned to obtain Nebraska license plates, the news anchor had lodged a complaint against the Grievant. The Agency conducted an investigation into the incident — including a review of the in-car video of the traffic stop that was the genesis of the allegation — and concluded that the Grievant had not engaged in any misconduct.

On October 17, 2005, Captain Lloyed Peters ("Peters") received information from the Kansas Bureau of Investigation ("KBI) that a law enforcement officer in Nebraska may have joined a website affiliated with the Ku Klux Klan ("KKK," "Klan"). The information provided by the KBI included mention of an incident that sounded to Management quite similar to the one involving the Grievant and the reporter from Omaha.

The report also quotes a Complaint Control Form, which in turn quotes a posting to a Knights Party message board, allegedly contributed by Henderson:

I have been in law enforcement for 23 yrs. My fiancee has been working in TV news locally for 8 yrs. A recent hired black anchor ie: they need people of color on the news desk, has been trying to get real friendly with her. But she has told him to leave her alone. She even complained to the higher up's. They told her not to cause trouble. So, I contacted him, the black anchor and old him the same thing. Leave her alone. I was very polite and kind about it. He complained to my Capt, that I was harassing him. I was found not to be thru and investigation by IA. But I was told not to contact him any more by my Capt. My fiancee went to an atty. That specializes in these matters. She was told the black card wins all the time. So she probably should start looking for another job, or just not say anything to anyone at work.

It is pretty bad when a person can not even complain about these things and they are told to stay away or not say anything. Over my 23 years in my job this sort of thing has been getting worse, not only at work, but also with suspects. Whites are loosing their rights slowly. It's sad. I pray about it. I hope my prayers get answered. White knight in Ne.

At the end of KMTV's coverage of the story during the 5 p.m. broadcast, anchor Greg Peterson acknowledged that the "news anchor" mentioned in the report was, indeed, Patton.

In the decision, the Arbitrator overturns Henderson's firing. The State is appealing, and State Senator Ernie Chambers is promising to pursue revocation of Henderson's law enforcement certificate.

Live. Local. Big and Thtupid.

Posted: August 24th, 2006, 7:28pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Latest word mangled by a Channel 6 anchor: "Tourist."

Morning anchor/Loud-Talker/Gomer-Pyle-Lookalike Jim "Last Word" Thiedlecki pronounced it "tower-ist" several times on Thursday's broadcast.

But what could we reasonably expect from a guy who sounded so enthusiastic when tellling viewers about the October 24th "Cirque DAY Soleil" performance in Omaha?

The folks in Branson and thereabouts must really miss this hayseed.

Reed Continues to Shine; Fazal Festers

Posted: August 24th, 2006, 6:11pm CDT by Ted Brockman

The first five minutes of KETV's 6 p.m. news on Thursday revealed everything you need to know about Channel 7.

The station dispatched its newest star, Kailyn Reed, to cover a developing story—a collision between a car and a kid-filled schoolbus. Reed delivered a clear, stumble-free, and apparently extemporaneous report and then conversed briefly with anchor Rob McCartney. It was one of the best spot-news reports we can remember seeing on any station in Omaha.

Not long after that, McCartney turned the proceedings over to Fubar Fazal, who, surprisingly didn't screw up her assignment, which was a mop-up job on a Wednesday story—OPS's latest misplacement of a kid on a bus. For Fazal, not screwing up a worthless story is a victory. Yay, team! Fubar didn't drive us into the ditch!

We'll give credit to KETV management: they at least had the good sense to send Reed out on the live story and consign Fubar to the re-hash desk. Why not go one step further and show Fubar the door?

Honestly. How is it that someone a year removed from college can go out and slam-dunk a story with little or no preparation, while another, allegedly with years of experience in the business, can only manage adequate work on stories that are so easy, even a high schooler could do them? Yes, Reed may be exceptionally strong for a virtual rookie. But, by the same token, Fubar is unbelievably weak for a veteran.

Disappearing Deyo

Posted: August 24th, 2006, 3:49pm CDT by Ted Brockman

We hadn't meant to suggest that there was anything sinister in KETV's use of the chroma-key "Newsplex" background during a recent weekend newscast. Multiple sources have informed us that Channel 7 was re-tiling the floor of the real Newsplex and put Deyo against the greenscreen as a temporary fix. We did, however, enjoy the sight of Deyo vaporizing on-air. (Unfortunately, the clip has been removed from YouTube.)

Even if the entire Newsplex were chroma-keyed in every day of the year, you wouldn't hear us gripe, as long as it looked realistic. Anyone who's taken the NBC tour at 30 Rockefeller Center in New York knows that the newsroom behind Brian Williams is a repeating loop. (If you don't believe us, keep an eye out for the guy who pops into the left side of the scene, talks briefly with the person at the desk, and then leaves. So repetitive are his appearances that folks in the news division refer to him as the "hardest-working man in network news.")

More Ladendorff Info

Posted: August 24th, 2006, 3:40pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Had we not seen the old KETV promo, the name of Marcia Ladendorff would have made us think of Tim Conway's "Dorf" character. [Shudder]

Several alert readers, however, have reminded us (a) how to spell her name—two Fs, and (b) that she spent time on CNN after leaving the Big O.

Armed with the proper spelling, we were able to locate a bio that fills in some gaps. As of a year ago, she was teaching at the University of North Florida. Here's the complete bio from zoominfo.com:

Marcia Ladendorff, assistant director of the Honors Program at the University of North Florida, came to academe after 22 years in the broadcast news business. During those two decades, she did everything possible in the newsroom, from reporting, anchoring, producing, and editing to even a short stint as a "weather girl."

She's flown through hurricanes, gone swimming with dolphins and sharks, and covered presidents and popes. She worked in markets all across the country, including Phoenix, Arizona; Rochester, New York; and Omaha, Nebraska.

Before coming to Jacksonville, she worked for the Cable News Network. Marcia was one of the original anchors for CNN, working out of Atlanta, Georgia. After the birth of her first child, she moved to Jacksonville where she spent seven years anchoring the 6 and 11 o'clock newscasts at the NBC affiliate, WTLV. She retired from broadcast news in 1993.

Today, Ladendorff is assistant director of the Honors Program at the University of North Florida and teaches Honors courses on media and their impact on our society and culture.

As a media consultant, she also conducts workshops and strategy sessions on how to work effectively with the news media. She is often called upon to conduct workshops on how to make effective presentations. She also occasionally takes on freelance writing projects.

As for her co-anchor in that promo, several folks have let us know that the chap's name is Allan Muse, another name we barely remember. If you have info on Muse, let us know.

Puzzle Half-Solved

Posted: August 24th, 2006, 7:47am CDT by Ted Brockman

An alert reader reminds us that one of the desk jockeys in the 1970s-vintage KETV promo is Omaha's first female anchor, Marcia Ladendorf, something we wouldn't have remembered if we'd had a hundred years to think about it. A very quick Google search turned up little recent info on her. Anyone know what became of Ms. Ladendorf?

Name These Anchors, If You Can

Posted: August 23rd, 2006, 11:20pm CDT by Ted Brockman

In our YouTube explorations, we came across this item, labeled "KETV Retro Promo." While we pride ourselves on knowing most anchors going back as far as Lee Terry, Sr., we have no idea who the two kids at the anchor desk are. Anyone know?

Playing Hide the Helmet

Posted: August 23rd, 2006, 11:13pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Oops. It appears KETV has been playing a little chroma-key background trick on viewers to inflate the look of its "Newsplex." Evidence? Click here for the screwup that let the cat out of the bag.

Separated at Birth: Auditory Edition

Posted: August 21st, 2006, 10:01pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Mystery Man, "The Spleen" and WOWT's Rachel Pierthsch

Saturation Pandering

Posted: August 21st, 2006, 9:41pm CDT by Ted Brockman

Please note August 21st as the date on which we lost our patience with the bickering-through-advertising being foisted on us by U.S. Senate candidates Ben Nelson and Pete Ricketts. Enough already.

If either of these guys had any sense, he'd make an ad saying, "I know you're sick of listening to us piss and moan about each other all the time. Therefore, starting on September 1, I am pulling all my ads off the air until one week before the election. Enjoy September and October. I'll see you again around the first of November!"

No, it'll never happen, but we can dream, can't we?

Honestly, though, does it really matter which multimillionaire ends up winning this thing? Won't they both end up caving to the same lobbyists and special interests anyway?

Why don't these two take all the money they were planning to spend on TV ads and give it to some worthy charity? Or the Ted Brockman Fund for More Extravagant Living?

Saturday Morning Nightmare

Posted: August 19th, 2006, 8:34am CDT by Ted Brockman

Talk about scary.

We awoke Saturday morning, flipped on the tube, and were plunged into an unexpected nightmare.

First, Channel 6 was running its usual weekend shitfest, only with an uglier-than-usual twist. Speech-impaired, fashion-challenged anchor Rachel Pierce showed up for work sporting perhaps the gaudiest, most-inappropriate, busy, deep-purple outfit we've ever seen on a TV newsperson. Wearing a giant purple beaded necklace and that awful hair, Pierce looked even more out of place than usual. There really aren't words for just how hideous it was. (We won't even get into her attempt to pronounce "unconstitutional," because that was at least entertaining.)