Consider the following facts. Then answer the question that follows.
A body is found in an oil drum located in a muddy area that was formerly underwater. The body is determined to be that of a woman who disappeared 23 years ago.
What conclusion might you draw from this information?
(A) Oil drums are not suitable for use as watercraft.
(B) The woman died of a heart attack.
(C) You just can't hide stuff underwater these days.
(D) The death is considered a homicide.
If you guessed D, then you don't need to read the online story from Omaha's daily newspaper, which features that exact sentence.
Thank you, John Gottschalk and Co., for connecting those dots. Now it's entirely clear why print news is superior to its broadcast step-sister.
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Newspaper Writers Auditioning for TV Gig?
Posted: November 15th, 2006, 12:49pm CST by Ted Brockman
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Ejacucast Shoots It in Wrong Direction Again
Posted: November 15th, 2006, 9:54am CST by Ted Brockman
On Tuesday's 10 p.m. newcast, WOWT Ejacuweather Guesser-in-Chief Jim Flowers made it sound as if an overnight snow and/or rain "event" was inevitable, and that we'd all be driving through significant rain or a thin film of slushy snow on our way to work this morning. Based on Jim's "Precision Forecast," a bettor might have wagered the ranch on it.
Now think about your drive to work this morning. Look outside right now. Check the radar.
Amazingly, between 10:30 p.m. and 6:00 a.m., the Ejacuweather team seemed to have forgotten everything their fearless leader had predicted.
In fairness, Jumpy Jim probably wasn't alone in his incorrectness. We didn't see what Bill Randby and Ryan McPike were saying on Tuesday.
But neither Randby nor McPike had the nerve to spend a full five minutes last week regaling us with their predictions about what the weather will be like in February. That is, they weren't that reckless with their credibility.
Weather coverage lends itself to gimmickry, and Channel 6 isn't the only one to exploit it. But that station is, by far, the "Heartland's Leader" in self-aggrandizing, over-the-top, mostly-empty hype when it comes to weather.
The only question is how long it will take viewers to catch on and put SuxNews in the ratings toilet where it belongs. -
Torturing Oakey
Posted: November 15th, 2006, 12:00am CST by Ted Brockman
KETV's long-running effort to surround John Oakey with as many dolts as possible took another step forward last week, when someone at the station decided that it would be a good idea to keep fill-in traffic babbler Veronica Todd around now that regular airhead Jana "Index Card" Murrell is back.
Todd's new role is to show up every half-hour or so, often dressed inappropriately, and share some useless piece of drivel related to what our president refers to as "the Internets." Her feature usually lasts about 20 seconds and has even less news value than what Murrell and Andrea "Mumbles" Bredow have to say—as hard as that is to believe.
One might infer from personnel moves like this one that someone on the inside is trying to sabotage the morning show, in particular—or the station, in general—by putting as many idiots on-air as the payroll will accommodate. The remarkable thing is that all these mental defectives actually make Oakey's albatross/co-anchor, Elictia Hammond, look almost acceptable.
