• Radio ads featuring Governor Dave Heinemann gushing over Senate candidate/billionaire Pete Ricketts and sounding like a real bumpkin when referring to politicians in "Worshington."
• Ricketts' mother, expecting us to believe that she and her gazillionaire husband are just ordinary folks who brought their kids up in Nebraska City. Put on a hat, Pete, and pull that sucker down over your face, while you're at it.
• Senator Ben Nelson spouting platitudes like, "A penny saved is a penny earned." Way to take a stand, Ben.
• Douglas County Assessor Roger Morrissey's very elderly mother propped up and groaning "Good for you," in the general direction of her son. Shameless.
• Congressional candidate Maxine Moul's mannish mug filling our TV screen. Yikes.
• Moul's grating, whiny voice. On second thought, Pete, just stuff that hat in Maxine's mouth.
• First District Rep. Jeff Fortenberry, who always appears to be wearing a Ben Nelson wig and scared to death that he really will be linked with fellow Republican Mark Foley.
• Congressdweeb Lee Terry, Jr. slobbering his way through his list of imagined accomplishments. Yeah, you'll probably be re-elected, Lee, as sad as that is. Just promise to leave us alone for two years. (Whatever happened to this dimwit's pledge to observe self-imposed term limits?)
Mark Twain was right. People generally do get the government they deserve. He should've warned us about the ads.
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Eight Things We Won't Miss When the Election Is Over
Posted: November 6th, 2006, 10:59pm CST by Ted Brockman